Goodnight

This one was a hard one to write. In order to get into the right mindframe for it I would have to completely lose myself to it and when I did, It hit me so hard and then I would have to stop. It has taken quite some time for this one but I think I am finally happy with the outcome. Take a look:

You cry for my hand
I reach it out to you
You curl your fingers around mine
And I pull you close
Embracing your tiny form
I can feel your heart beat
Frail but still fighting.
Looking up at me
Pleading eyes
Exude a love so pure
So unconditional.
You trust that I will save you
Whatever saving means
You trust that I will save you
Bring an end to the pain
To the blackness, the dark
The total eclipse of your short life
Saving you means damning myself.
We are both vulnerable
Powerless.
A tear slowly falls
Peeling away each piece of me
Realisation without acceptance
An end is coming, it's here.
Never another beginning
Not for you, my child
My one, my only
My daughter.
Still you smile.
The warmest of smiles
A forgiving smile
And northern lights dance in your eyes.
They tell me, I must be strong
Like you are for me.
It’s been a long hard struggle
Knowing it’s fruitless, hopeless.
Yet we cling to each other helplessly
It’s just you and I
For whatever time remains.
I cry.
A cacophony of clicks
As machines fight for you
But your screams pierce the room
You’re begging me now
I know what I must do
Yet I can't press the button
"I'm tired mommy" you whisper
As you lay your head upon my chest.
So sleep my little darling
I know that you are weary
Rest your eyes so tired
We'll meet again my love
I'll see you in the next world.
The last breath is all too short
It's plucked from tiny lungs
Like my heart
Torn from my chest
Silence falls
You are gone.
Pain is my reminder
Of how I used to be
Whole, complete
And with that one last breath
That last goodbye
All that's left of me
Is wreckage