Interlude

I thought I'd create a little mid point, a little change of pace, where instead of yet another poem, I thought I'd answer some things that people have asked me (an insight into the mind of me). Yeah I know, scary thought huh?

First, for all those enquiring minds... yes I am still writing, little by little, slowly it is coming along. Time is very rare these days to actually sit down and spend a chunk of concentration on 1 thing. Working full time and studying a new course that is (for lack of a better word) alien to me means that my spare time is pretty much non-existant until I get into the swing of things again. I will have more new stuff up though as soon as I possibly can.

I have noticed over the course of the past few months that a lot of my writing is very dark and troubled. This is just simply what comes to me when I watch people. Using public transport everyday gives me an excellent opportunity to analyse people's actions and study what lies in their eyes. (A favourite hobby of mine I guess) Sometimes I will see pain in someone's eyes and my brain just jumps into action. Within seconds I can have a background story for why that is and then out comes the trusty little blackberry to note down what I am thinking. Then before I know it, I have twisted and turned the words out of nothing and there is a poem there.

So when you see yet another dark and twisted poem or random thought, they are not always motivated by what is in my own mind but they do come from somewhere real in me. I understand and know those thoughts and feelings because I wouldn't recognise it in someone else if I hadn't felt it at least once myself.

So now you know and I bet you are glad you asked haha

Secret Power

Switch it on, turn it up
Feel the juice consume me
Flash a smile, that’s it I’ve got you
No way for you to break free.

It’s not clear to anyone
Invisible to the naked eye,
It all comes naturally now
I won’t even have to try.

Give it all that I possess
Aim it all toward you,
Take it in, don’t try to fight
There’s nothing more you can do.

See that wall around you
Feel it crashing down,
As this passion takes over
And together we will drown.

Visions

I've been talking in my sleep
Gone back to how I used to be
disturbing my nights, these visions
haunting my dreams, this confusion
Hopeless and troubled, peace can't find me.
Battling these demons, I’m fighting
They're dragging me under, I’m tired
Losing myself to this curse, defeated
Become a stranger in my mind, my body
No breath, no feeling, no existence
Left here, to burn, to linger
fading each day, I vanish

Something to believe in

Have faith, believe
No matter what life throws your way
Just rise, take a step
You can achieve your dreams
Open your eyes
See the little things that are there
Open your heart
Feel your way around you
Do what you wish
Make this life yours
Touch base, grow wings
Reach heights unknown
Know yourself
You can do it all and more

The failed plan

Have you ever taken the time to think about what you got out of your previous relationships? I must admit I never really gave it much thought until recently. At some point these relationships are such a huge part of our lives, but when they end, we tend to just do whatever it takes to move on to the next chapter of our lives without ever thinking about the things we gained from these people we have crossed paths with many moons ago.

Take me for example, each of the people I have been entangled with; in some way or another; has had an influence on some part of me. Of course not all relationships were positive but if you look hard enough and as objectively as you can, you can always find something good to take from them.

My most recent relationship; as it turned out; was based on lies and deceit, yet I am thankful. Thankful that I had to go through; what I can only describe; as one of the most tumultuous and painful experiences in my life. Without having gone through it, my life wouldn’t be the same. I truly believe, I wouldn’t be as happy as I am now.

I want to say this to ‘him’, you know who you are, I want to thank you. By hurting me, you made my life an absolute dream.

So my point in all this is:

When people decide upon a course of action, it is because of who they are. Be it good or bad, their path is set by their nature. What they don’t consider or expect, is who you are!

I wish I stayed

Tears trickle down my face
As I walk away, head down.
Thoughts, fears and regrets
Rush through my mind.
Don’t know what to do with my hands
My feet follow an unknown path,
Who knows where I’ll end up this time.
I never wanted to leave
But you really left me no choice,
We were going nowhere
Just like I am now.
I’m afraid, but I look back
I see your face and I ache
It’s too late to take it away.
I hear you calling, pleading
‘Stay’ you say and I want to
But pride is my lover now,
It’s over, this is the end.
Still, my heart and soul
Are where you are,
I’m lost without them
I whisper to myself...

'I wish I stayed’.