A Work in Progress

Suddenly
Sunrise shakes us
Hibernation, a dream.
Reality,
A disastrous darkness
Again you go and I
Don't want to love you.
Each morning I try
To break this
Noose you placed around me.
Without you, a minute or two
I'm tormented
Not sure I want to be free
Hold on to me
I can't take it, let go.
Frail, too fragile
In matters of the heart
I'm afraid that I am broken
In pieces you leave me
Daylight shines through
Shards of glass remains
If I had predicted this
I would have stopped it
At least I might have tried
But how do you stop the sun
Or force eternal night?
Midnight hour
Before morning breaks
I feel so happy
Fall freely
You catch me
Then comes the light
You leave
Feeling forgotten
Like you take it with you
To see you through the day
While on the floor I crash
The addict without a drug
Alone in this battle, a war
Heaven versus hell
If everyone could feel it
Would they embrace the day?
Maybe its just me
I don't know how to love
Maybe you can teach me
Will it consume me?
Is it something I can learn?
Will it just get harder?
If I don't try, will I die?
Why don't we start slow
Can't let go, I crave this
Misery
Remind me I'm alive
Melancholy
Tell me I'm not broken
Just unfinished

I'm your ghost

Moving around you,
air so light, floating freely
an apparition is what I am
holding onto your life.
How is it that you can’t see?
I need you to
I refuse to say goodbye
But I know I can’t stay here
Not yet, I can cling a little longer
Before the light pulls me away
Don’t cry, don’t give in.
I reach out my hand to you
so softly, I trace your face
You stare blankly,
drawn deep inside your pain
I know you can’t feel me
But I swear I saw a change
Faint recognition, a question lingering
On your mouth, in your mind
Is it just my own hope I see?
Close my eyes, breathe in and focus
project my thoughts to you
Lean in to you and whisper:
Always my love, forever my heart
Not even death can tear us apart
I raise up my head and see your eyes bright
with that smile on your lips, I walk into the light

Hold on

I sit here, gazing out my window
Watch the wind, it shakes the trees,
Try to suppress this memory
Of me crashing to my knees.

I stare in hopeful pretence
That you’re on your way back home,
But Inside I have this feeling
That you are really gone.

I fantasize that we’re together
Your loving arms around me tight,
Not here, alone and crying
Recalling that dreadful night.

Why, why couldn’t you listen?
Hear me calling you to stay,
Just thirty seconds longer
You’d still be here this day.

I fear these nights without you
I need to see and touch your face,
To have your lips on mine again
To sink in your warm embrace.

I don’t want to face this reality
I’m just not ready to say goodbye,
There is no life, no hope without you
I’m not even going to try.

Hold on babe I’m coming
I’m leaving this world with you,
Life means nothing, not anymore
I don’t think I’ll make it through.

Only one thing I need remains
So cold, this dagger in my hand,
My writing is on the table
This, the only thing to go as planned.

Close my eyes and raise my remedy
I no longer feel the pain,
I smile with tear drenched eyes
And I wait for my blood to drain.

Stay with me

Visiting hours are over, so I'm stuck here with my pain
Looking out the window, staring at the pouring rain.
I've only got a week left, and it better be real good
The doctors have been good to me, they've done all that they could.

I only wish I had more time, so I could fulfil all of my dreams
But I guess that God has chosen me, at random, it seems.
I ain't got no questions to ask him, and I dont want to know why
I only wonder where heaven is, if it's up there in the sky.
I'm sure that I'll be happy there, I'm sure that I'll have fun
I'm sure I'll grow to love it but I know I'll miss everyone.

Time is catching up quickly and I've been told to say goodbye
Im not ready to leave yet but I wont let it make me cry.
I'm finding it so hard, to let it all go
I'm packing my bags, but the one thing I know...

I'll no longer be alone!