Twist of Fate

Listen up love
I'll tell you a tale
About a guy and a girl
Who were destined to fail.
Destined to fail
Though destined to meet
T'was a strange twist of fate
That arrived at their feet.
Upon scanning the room
He had his heart set
On a girl he could see
And just hadn't met
Standing with friends
She had not a clue
That the smile she set loose
Would start something new.
Approaching her slowly
His mind on his prize
He imagined their future
When he looked in her eyes
Oblivious to love
Her eyes didn't see
The man that he was
Who he tried to be.
A meeting was forced
A bond soon created
They started as friends
Within weeks they had dated
Moving with haste
Their one became two
With being single
They both were through
They each fell in love
They both thought it true
But it was no happy end
It was all rather blue

A Work in Progress

Suddenly
Sunrise shakes us
Hibernation, a dream.
Reality,
A disastrous darkness
Again you go and I
Don't want to love you.
Each morning I try
To break this
Noose you placed around me.
Without you, a minute or two
I'm tormented
Not sure I want to be free
Hold on to me
I can't take it, let go.
Frail, too fragile
In matters of the heart
I'm afraid that I am broken
In pieces you leave me
Daylight shines through
Shards of glass remains
If I had predicted this
I would have stopped it
At least I might have tried
But how do you stop the sun
Or force eternal night?
Midnight hour
Before morning breaks
I feel so happy
Fall freely
You catch me
Then comes the light
You leave
Feeling forgotten
Like you take it with you
To see you through the day
While on the floor I crash
The addict without a drug
Alone in this battle, a war
Heaven versus hell
If everyone could feel it
Would they embrace the day?
Maybe its just me
I don't know how to love
Maybe you can teach me
Will it consume me?
Is it something I can learn?
Will it just get harder?
If I don't try, will I die?
Why don't we start slow
Can't let go, I crave this
Misery
Remind me I'm alive
Melancholy
Tell me I'm not broken
Just unfinished

I'm your ghost

Moving around you,
air so light, floating freely
an apparition is what I am
holding onto your life.
How is it that you can’t see?
I need you to
I refuse to say goodbye
But I know I can’t stay here
Not yet, I can cling a little longer
Before the light pulls me away
Don’t cry, don’t give in.
I reach out my hand to you
so softly, I trace your face
You stare blankly,
drawn deep inside your pain
I know you can’t feel me
But I swear I saw a change
Faint recognition, a question lingering
On your mouth, in your mind
Is it just my own hope I see?
Close my eyes, breathe in and focus
project my thoughts to you
Lean in to you and whisper:
Always my love, forever my heart
Not even death can tear us apart
I raise up my head and see your eyes bright
with that smile on your lips, I walk into the light

Siren Song

You've got a hold on me
Enchanting, captivating, a siren
Voice of torturous heaven
Sweetest sound, alluring
Pulling me under, deep down
Reluctant, can't refuse, no choice
I tumble, spiral
Scared, it's out of control
Darkness envelops me,
Surrounded
can't hold my breath
Not strong enough.
Stop fighting, give in
Prepare for eternal night, death
But all I find is light
Love untainted
By confusion, madness, fear
I couldn't see it before
the past was my blindness
Then I heard you call me
My history erased
Memories wiped clean
Now every thing is clear
Who knew you'd be the one
The one to open my eyes,
make me see, make me feel

.... Alive!

It's all violence and Chess

Grumpy but gorgeous
Is what you used to call me,
Look how the tide has turned
You're the one to snap,
Attack without motive
Short, spiky bursts of violence
Venom follows soft,
sweet bubbles of love.
We collide
I want to hide and I'm frozen.
This place where I stand, quicksand
Drowning me slowly, pulls me down
Me, the queen that's unprotected
You, the knight I always dreamed of
So I stay, play the game
Check mate
Defeat,
Tastes a lot like blood these days.
I make the same damn moves
Don't seem to have a mind,
Not one that's mine completely
It’s filled with your excuses,
my wishes for a brand new day.
A day to begin and end the same
No anguish, no pain, no surprises
Without your love that kills me.
It comes around again
This time let's begin with hate
Maybe you should start,
I'll play along
For now, just a pawn.
Remember the rules, keep my focus
Each time round, pick up a little more,
My turn is coming, pretty soon
It'll be over. Only one
Will survive this horror story
Either way,
I'm the winner, I'll be free
Now for one last time
Let's play!

Untouchable

I find myself waiting
Just to hear your voice
Watch you walk in the room
A presence that steals my breath.
Imagine reaching out
Feel you, your skin
Your lips, locked with my own,
full of longing, hunger, desire
My pulse quickens at the thought
You've got my mind racing
No rationality, no reason
My feelings taking over
I try so hard to make a move
Attract your attention
You don't see me
Perhaps you don't care
Emotions exposed out on the table
An open book for all to read
To you, I'm invisible.
God, I'm so stupid sometimes
Baring my desire for all to see
Am I not enough?
What do I have to do? Name it
Anything for you, for your body
Your mind, your soul, I'm putty
For you to mould, sculpt me
Your instrument, your toy,
play me. Please
I need you, I'm spinning,
Control me, take me
I'm yours
How can you be so desirable
So vital to breathing?
When you're unapproachable, obscure
So untouchable
and so obviously uninterested in this girl

Where once I was blind, now I can see!

Let us take a moment to think about the past year.

When 2008 came to an end and 2009 began, my life was in a completely different place. It wasn't the happiest of places. It was bitter, fearful, sad and delusional at times but 2009 saved me.

January began and I found it difficult to be myself. Afraid to let people know me. I had allowed 2008 to beat me down and make me feel inadequate but then February arrived and suddenly, a new breath of life came my way. Of course, it was slow to start but I fought my way through dark thought after dark thought and eventually I burst through the other side, victorious and able to show my true self. The year continued moving onward and upwards and with my new sense of freedom, confidence, hope and positivity I achieved so many wonderful things.

Although 2009 has been a challenging year for many; myself included; with so many sad memories. I cannot help but be thankful. Thankful for all the trials and struggles that were thrown my way, grateful for everything that I have had the opportunity to learn. It is because of everything that has happened, that I have found a strength and belief in myself and it is because of this that I know, 2010 has the potential to be the biggest and best year yet.

The sum of 2009 for me is about all of the fantastic people; who I now call friends and family; that I have had the pleasure to meet and get to know. Each of these people, in their own way, save me each and every single day and whether they understand it or not, I will be eternally thankful for having them in my life.

So to all those people: the artist, the comedian, the underdog, the faithful, the hopeful, the brave, the courageous, the loving, the caring, the rebel, the square peg in the round hole and the downright wacky... I bow to you now. I appreciate all that you are and will hold each of you in my heart always.

And to people who made this all possible: Shannon, Jared & Tomo. I thank you for all that you have given me, the music, the experiences but most of all, the family that I am a part of. A family that inspire me everyday, because with them, anything is possible.

So here's to a Happy New Year, to a healthy and loving 2010 filled with everything we could ever wish for. We will meet again on Mars, the first chance we get xx

Seasons change

So here we are,
Time has strained us both
We stand here,
Changed forever
With every season long gone.

Has enough time passed?
Are we able to forgive?
Pain shows in our eyes,
Do we turn and walk away?
Leave this all behind

Do we fight this?
Struggle through the torment,
Battle away the tears
Or do we let them linger?
Stain our faces for all to see.

What use is there in fighting?
We don't remember what it's for.
You say you’re strong enough
But is that enough?
Has too much changed?

Where do we go now?
Who will make that call?
For the first time we are unified
As uncertainty surrounds us both
Seasons change, did our love change too?

Dare to dream

Dare to dream,
To hope, to pray.
Dare to have faith
With each passing day.
Dare to speak,
To hear, to see.
Dare to feel,
To love and be free.
Dare to think,
To laugh, to cry.
Dare to wonder
To trust and to try.
Dare to wish,
To want, to achieve.
Dare to be mad,
To care, to believe.

Dare it all, take a chance and dream it to life